During the High Middle Ages,
Troubadour poetry composed primarily in southern Europe included themes
including of courtly love, which became associated with marriage. Before then,
that institution was associated mostly with property and progeny rather than
with romantic love. Interestingly, it was just as love was becoming associated
with marriage when the Roman Catholic Church ended its centuries-old
gay-marriage liturgy, which, sans property and progeny, was uniquely associated
with love (for why else would gays marry?). The irony is that “modern” gay
marriage in the West in the twenty-first century may have more to do with sex
than love in the sex-centric gay culture, though obviously gays are fully
capable of genuine love that transcends such superficialities as lust,
especially squalid lust that is distended in “open” relationships sans
commitment. Indeed, married gays in loving, committed relationships even raise
children in loving homes. Although utterly obscene to more conservative folks,
such “mixed families” grounded in love warrant respect and even admiration for
being based in genuine love, whereas the sex-centric approach to “relationships”
in the gay “culture” justly warrants condemnation for being superficial,
short-sighted, and utterly self-centered. Yet, whether gay or heterosexual, romantic
love need not be selfish. The distinction in Christian theology between caritas
and agape is relevant in making this point.
The full essay is at "Transcending Caritas in Romantic Love."